I think im going to throw up on grandma
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Randomize
