Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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