Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
