i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Randomize
