Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
