I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
honey bunches of taint.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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