I am full of burrito and curiosity
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
