Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just pynch a tree in the face
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
