he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
