yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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