Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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