Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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