We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
