I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
