you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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