morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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