Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
and i looked up. we had an audience...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
