it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
