I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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