You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
