Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
