i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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