we have pet lesbian snakes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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