It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
