and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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