And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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