Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
