you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
