Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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