$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
