wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
50% drunk capacity currently
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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