ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
