I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
