I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
