Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just want nice things and good sex
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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