My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize