So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
