omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
