READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
PANTIES FOUND
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