Got a toothbrush?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
