i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
