i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
