Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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