Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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