Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
what the fuck happened to the tacos
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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