i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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