You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize