my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
