worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize