I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
