she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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