I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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