I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i believe in u and ur pee
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize