East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
