new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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