I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
