i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
