she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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