I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
