you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
