He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
