I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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