I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
