Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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