"it" just moved
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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